| Are relationships the new religion?
Current mood:  exhausted
Ah, relationships and religion. They go together like... ice cream and Tabasco sauce. However, they do have a bit in common. When we're single, we're agnostic when it comes to love -- we'd like to think that true love exists, but we're not entirely sure. Then, we meet a fantastic new guy, and "Hallelujah!" the belief is back.
There's nothing like the zeal of the newly converted. Within three weeks you can go from sniping about a girlfriend who blows off book club to hang with her boyfriend to ditching events just to buy an outfit for a date with your own new dude.
It's really quite disturbing. Luckily, the mind protects you from realizing your idiocy at the time -- there must be some kind of reproductive instincts driving us forth to procreate, no matter what the social cost.
And, to be fair, when you start dating a new person, it's like you've been born again. After all, you're completely new to him. He's never heard the story about how you freaked out on the ski lift. He's fascinated by the difference between your right and left ear lobes. He, unlike everyone else you know, is still interested in hearing about the amazingly tasty sandwich you had in New Orleans in 1998.
But on the flip side, New Guy has to fit into your existing lifestyle--your personal rituals and traditions (your own religion, such as it is). If you love to run, he needs to trot along with you, or at least not complain when you roll out of bed at 5:30 to hit the pavement. If you've gotta work late to get the promotion you've been eyeing for a year, he needs to respect that. And if you just want him to be able to hang out with your friends and hold his own... well, he needs to be able to do that too.
We all have our own rituals that sustain us. There's the traditional sort that involves getting up early on Sunday and putting on a nice dress; but for many of us, the core of our being rests on less formal things, like a weekly dinner with girlfriends, a pottery class, or a trek in the woods on a beautiful afternoon. Relationships can become a part of these rituals... but they can only work if your guy respects the things you loved before you met him. |
pissed off 